But wait—there’s more! I sent out invitations to a “surprise housewarming party” for Mike and Jessica, inviting friends, family, coworkers, and even our nosy neighbor.
Sweet, Sweet Revenge
When Mike and Jessica returned, they were greeted by a mob of confused guests, an empty house, and that glorious billboard. I’ll never forget Mike’s frantic call.
“Michelle! What the hell is going on? Why can’t I get into the house? And what is this party?”
“Oh, Mike,” I replied innocently, “didn’t you say I should move out? Well, I remembered the house is solely under my name, so I changed the locks. Enjoy the party—it’s all for you!”
The cherry on top? I served Mike with divorce papers at his office. I even arranged for the courier to dress up as a pregnant woman.
Karma’s Encore
Jessica called me a week later, sobbing. She claimed Mike had lied to her about our separation and that she didn’t know he was now homeless, broke, and the laughingstock of the town. Apparently, life with Mike wasn’t so glamorous without a house or money. She dumped him faster than you can say “poetic justice.”
Life After Mike
As for me? I sold the house at a nice profit, moved to a beautiful new home, and started my own business. I even adopted a cat and named him Karma—because karma always delivers.
I learned one invaluable lesson through it all: When life gives you lemons, don’t just make lemonade. Throw those lemons at the people who wronged you, sit back, and watch karma work its magic.
And remember: Cheaters never prosper, but a scorned woman with a wicked sense of humor? We thrive.