Two days later, we set our plan into motion. Knowing Jeff couldn’t resist a free meal, we invited him to dinner at his favorite Chinese restaurant. Chloe, always the mischievous one, had the perfect idea: order the spiciest dishes on the menu.
The restaurant buzzed with energy as we took our seats, pretending everything was normal. Chloe ordered a feast of fiery dishes—Szechuan beef, Kung Pao chicken, and extra-spicy mapo tofu. “You can handle spicy food, right, Jeff?” she asked sweetly.
“Of course,” he boasted. “I’m a real man. Spicy food doesn’t scare me.”
As the dishes arrived, Jeff dug in confidently. But his bravado didn’t last long. His face turned bright red, and beads of sweat formed on his forehead. “Just clearing the sinuses,” he said, reaching for another glass of water. We struggled to keep straight faces as he powered through, determined to prove his point.
Meanwhile, back at the house, Mom and Lily were busy packing. With the help of a moving truck, they loaded Mom’s belongings—including her favorite chair and keepsakes—into the truck. Chloe had insisted they also take everything she’d ever bought for Jeff, including his prized recliner. And the finishing touch? Every single roll of toilet paper in the house.
When Jeff and I returned home, his stomach was already unsettled. He walked into the living room and immediately noticed something was missing. “Where’s my recliner?” he demanded.
“Gone,” Chloe said nonchalantly. “Mom took her things.”
Jeff’s face turned a deeper shade of red. But before he could respond, his stomach growled loudly. He hurried to the bathroom, only to yell moments later, “WHERE’S THE TOILET PAPER?!”
From the hallway, we burst into laughter. “Mom took that too!” Chloe called out.
Mom stepped forward, her voice calm but resolute. “I’m leaving, Jeff. I’m taking my belongings and my dignity. It’s time for me to move on.”
In the days that followed, Jeff tried calling Mom repeatedly, leaving messages full of apologies. She didn’t answer. Instead, Chloe came up with one final touch of humor. On Jeff’s birthday, we sent him a neatly wrapped gift: a jumbo pack of toilet paper with a handwritten note: For a real man.
Mom moved in with Lily while figuring out her next steps. Anthony, who lived across the country, called to tell us how proud he was of her newfound independence. As for Jeff? He’s still telling his version of the story to anyone who’ll listen. But for the first time, Mom is free, and our family couldn’t be happier.