The son calls his sister, who also calls their dad.
“You’re not getting divorced!” she yells. “We’ll be there tomorrow!”
The father turns to his wife with a grin. “Well, that’s sorted. The kids are coming for Christmas—and they’re paying for their own tickets!”
The Early Christmas Shopper
A man stands trial during the holidays.
“What are you accused of?” the judge asks.
“I was doing my Christmas shopping early,” the man says.
“That’s not illegal,” the judge replies. “How early?”
“Before the store opened.”
The Airport Mistletoe Mishap
Dave, annoyed at an airport, notices mistletoe hanging above the luggage scale.
He tells the attendant, “Even if we were dating, I wouldn’t kiss you under that tacky mistletoe.”
The attendant smirks. “That mistletoe isn’t for you to kiss me. It’s so you can kiss your luggage goodbye.”
The Kid’s Christmas Bargain
A boy writes to Santa but is scolded by his mom for being naughty.
“You’d better write to Jesus instead,” she says.
The boy starts a letter to Jesus but gets frustrated. On a walk, he sees a nativity scene and grabs the statue of Mary.
Back home, he writes: “Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again…”
Long Hair, Don’t Care
Danny, a teen who aces his exams, asks his clergyman dad for a car for Christmas.
“You’ve done great,” his dad says. “But you haven’t cut your hair.”
Danny replies, “Dad, Jesus, Moses, and Samson all had long hair.”
His dad nods. “True. And they walked everywhere.”
The Husband’s Christmas Misunderstanding
A man loses his wife in the mall on Christmas Eve. Frantically, he calls her.
“Honey,” she says, “do you remember the jewelry store where you saw that expensive watch you loved?”
His eyes light up. “Yes!”
“Well, I’m in the lingerie store next to it.”
Spread the Cheer
And there you have it—a sleigh full of laughs to brighten your holiday season! Share these jokes with friends and family, and remember, the best gifts are the ones that bring joy and laughter.