I’ve been divorced from Ben for five years now. We were married for thirteen years and have two wonderful children who remain our biggest source of joy. Our divorce wasn’t messy or dramatic—we simply realized we wanted different things from life. Even now, Ben and I stay on friendly terms, which surprises many people, but it works well for co-parenting our kids.
When our oldest child turned sixteen recently, we decided on a family dinner to celebrate. Ben mentioned he was dating someone named Lisa, and although I’d have preferred meeting her one-on-one first, I agreed she could join us. We try to keep everything transparent, especially for the sake of our children.
Meeting Lisa
I met Lisa that evening, and from the start, she was warm and friendly. She took an interest in the kids and asked thoughtful questions about their lives, making it clear she wanted to connect. I appreciated her efforts. At the same time, I felt a little uneasy watching how attentive she was toward Ben—laughing at his jokes, gently touching his arm, and looking at him like he was the best man in the room. It was sweet, but it also stirred something inside me. Ben and I never had that dynamic in our marriage; maybe it was just the thrill of a newer relationship.
The Birthday Card
Halfway through dinner, my oldest handed me a birthday card signed by Ben. I was confused; my birthday had passed months ago, and historically, Ben never remembered these types of occasions, let alone wrote me cards. During our marriage, he didn’t celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays in any big way. At the time, I convinced myself it didn’t bother me. It was just “how Ben was.”
So, I thanked our child for bringing me the card and assumed Lisa had encouraged him to do it. Then I caught Lisa giving me a peculiar look, almost like she had something she wanted to say.
Lisa’s Question
Later on, Lisa pulled me aside. “Ben mentioned he’s not great with birthdays,” she said softly. “He forgot mine recently. Is that normal for him?”
I offered a faint smile. “That’s just who he is,” I replied. “Try not to take it personally.”
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