She looked disappointed but nodded and walked away. I didn’t dwell on it. The evening ended on a cheerful note, and we all went our separate ways.
An Unexpected Message
That night, I received a text from Lisa. She’d gotten my number from Ben and wanted to ask, “Does Ben ever get better at remembering important dates? Is it something that can change?”
I stared at her message, feeling two conflicting urges: one part of me wanted to warn her that he probably wouldn’t change, while another part wanted to defend Ben by saying he meant no harm. But the truth—one I hadn’t fully admitted to myself during our marriage—was lingering in my mind.
Eventually, I responded: “I honestly can’t say if he’ll change. The best you can do is communicate what matters to you. It was nice meeting you, Lisa.”
The Breakup
A few months passed, and life returned to its usual flow. One evening, Ben called and sounded upset. “Lisa broke up with me,” he said, frustration cracking through his voice.
“What happened?” I asked gently.
“She kept making such a big deal about birthdays and anniversaries,” he grumbled. “I told her I just don’t care about that stuff, and we argued. She walked out.”
“Ben,” I said, choosing my words carefully, “did she tell you that it mattered to her?”
He hesitated. “She did—plenty of times.”
“And you didn’t think it was worth a try to make her happy?” I asked.
“You never cared about that stuff,” he replied defensively.
I let out a slow breath. “No, Ben. I stopped caring because I knew you didn’t. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t important to me—or to Lisa.”
A Chance Encounter
A few days later, I ran into Lisa at the grocery store. She looked worn out but forced a polite smile.
“Hey, Lisa,” I greeted, trying to convey warmth. “How’re you holding up?”
She shrugged. “I’ve been better. I broke up with Ben.”
I nodded sympathetically. “I’m sorry. Breakups are never easy.”
She sighed. “I just couldn’t stand feeling invisible. I told him these things mattered, but he didn’t seem to care.”
I reached out and gently touched her arm. “You deserve someone who respects your needs, Lisa. Don’t settle for anything less.”
She flashed a faint, appreciative smile. “Thanks. I really hoped he’d change.”
“Sometimes, change is hard for people,” I said quietly. “But don’t lose hope. You’ll find someone who sees your worth.”
A Lesson in Self-Worth
After that conversation, I couldn’t stop thinking about how Lisa’s frustration mirrored my own during my marriage. Yet, I’d never had the courage to challenge Ben the way she had. I’d buried my disappointment and convinced myself it didn’t matter. Seeing Lisa walk away made me realize I, too, deserved someone who valued what was important to me.
That night, I spoke with my kids about their dad. I wanted them to understand that despite his flaws, he loved them wholeheartedly. We laughed about the times he’d forget even his own birthday if not reminded. We also acknowledged the many good memories we’d shared.
As I reflected on everything, a calm sense of peace washed over me. I realized I’d grown stronger, learned to value my happiness, and found contentment in my life as it is now. More than anything, Lisa’s willingness to stand up for what mattered to her reminded me to never forget my own worth again.
I might not have the same relationship expectations I once did, but I do have a renewed sense of who I am and what I deserve. And in this new chapter of my life, that’s more than enough.